By Emalee Gillis, NAMI Spokane Blog Editor
The holiday season, which is supposed to be a time of joy and warmth, can be stressful. Shelley Lunn, a licensed clinical social worker in Spokane, has tips of how to take care of yourself during the holidays so that you find more joy and less stress.
According to Shelley, expectations are what make holidays stressful.
“People harbor the expectation that they need to attend all of the events, bake all the stuff, and spend money on gifts. In addition, they are supposed to want to be around family members which can be challenging for people who don’t have great relationship with their family.”
Shelley added, “Saying “yes” to everything adds to the holiday stress. Not asking for help also adds to the stress. Feeling like you have to do it all yourself and everything has to be perfect also piles on the stress.”
The primary advice that Shelley has for the holiday is to have appropriate expectations.
“Don’t expect everything to go perfectly. Things happen. People are late. Food can burn.”
She also encouraged people to not overbook.
“Pick the events that you really want to go to and do those. Give yourself permission not to go to everything.”
Shelley encouraged people to make the holidays what you want them.
“If you don’t want turkey, don’t have it. If you don’t want gifts, don’t give them. You can have experiences together instead of gifts. Do whatever would help you enjoy them more.”
Shelley recognized that not having close family and friends can make the holiday a tough time. She encouraged people to do things that help make them feel better and can look forward to. For example, get a massage or go on a walk.
“Make sure you are taking time for yourself,” Shelley advised. “Don’t feel selfish for taking time for yourself. Being present makes you more available for your loved ones. Put “me time” into your calendar.”
“Remember,” Shelley added, “The holiday season is a few weeks of the year. It will pass. It is just a season, not forever.”
Following are other suggestions from Shelley. You don’t need to do all of them. Just pick the ones that will add the most to your holiday season.
Maintain Healthful Habits: Try to eat regularly and exercise. Keep some sense of your routine going.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of focusing on the moment. Instead of worrying about the next event, enjoy the present moment.
Express Gratitude: Take time to appreciate the positive aspects of your life and the people around you.
Limit Alcohol Consumption: Social anxiety can cause people to drink, but many people feel more anxious after that first glass wears off.
Create a Self-care Toolkit: Gather items that bring you comfort, like a favorite book, a stress ball to squeeze and water. Add essential oils because breathing them can help you focus and relax.
Connect with Loved Ones Meaningfully: Say “yes” to things that are important to you where you are actually connecting with people
Seek Support if Needed: Make sure you have safe people to talk with in mind, so they are there when you need them.
Wishing you a happy holiday season!
Shelley Lunn is the owner of Beyond Mountains Counseling, LLC. She is a licensed clinical social worker and has practiced for ten years in Spokane.
Emalee Gillis is a writer and blog editor. She is the author of the memoir Adventures on the Path to Living Well with a Mental Illness and has a related TEDx Talk.